As young women we are constantly told the goal is happiness. Graduating from a good school, working for a good company, choosing the right friends, marrying the right man, would all result in one common goal society wanted for us. Happiness. I have seen so many women, including myself pursue that ever elusive dream.
Don’t get me wrong. Happiness is not an elusive concept. A perpetual state of happiness is. We are trained to believe in happily ever afters, in reality there is no such thing. Its an oxymoron of sorts because happiness is a fleeting emotion, not a perpetual state of being. Contentment is.
When we grow older we realize that we graduate from a good school to learn the right values and concepts that will see us through the real world, working from the right company gives us the right set of opportunities, the right friends give us the most amazing experiences to grow and evolve and the right partnership only compliments that state of evolution. So why work so hard to be happy ? Wouldn’t the end result be to work towards a state of contentment ?
Society cant define that. How does one who is not as emotionally evolved say to another “All I want for you is to be content” ? “All I want for you is to be happy” sounds so much more acceptable, after all, on the face of it, society is always supposed to act like they have our best interests at heart right ?
We live for these people. Their acceptance. Their approval. They don’t live within our four walls, they don’t pay our bills, they don’t even hang around when the going gets really tough but for some reason we live to please them. Why ?
As we get older, the goal is to start living for that internal acceptance. Ironically the calm is not always there inside. It comes only after you reach a state of contentment. The calm comes after the feeling of contentment not the other way around. Lost is okay. Desolate is okay. Broke is okay. Single is okay. Unsure is okay. Confused is okay. Worried is okay. Anxious is okay. Happiness is not the only state of mind we need to be in. When we accept that, we are content.